Wandering, Wondering Me

I had an Uncle name of Matthew.....

2010-04-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

No, not really. But this past weekend I was reminded of the John Denver song about Uncle Matthew, more on that later.
I went to Kansas to surprise my Great Aunt on her 85th birthday. She lives in El Dorado, Kansas. My family has a very long history in that town. When I was growing up, I listened to my families stories of life in Kansas.
I grew up in Southern California. Orange County.....far away from Kansas. I listened to the stories of another time, another place and I really had no interest in them. I lived one mile from Disneyland. I had the beach, big cities, lots of friends. All of the things that I thought Kansas lacked.
My grandfather loved Kansas. He loved farming. He loved the out of doors. Due to some family hardships, he was forced to move to southern California. He never got over Kansas though.
He had made a vow never to return to Kansas. When I was little I thought it was because he did not like the state or the lifestyle. I learned that it was because it was too heartbreaking to return.
Once, when on a long family trip, my grandfather drove from Washington D.C. to Colorado, completely bypassing Kansas. Look at a map of the U.S and figure that one out.
I was 13 at the time and I just wanted to get home to see my friends. I was so mad at him for lengthening our trip by going around Kansas. I argued, begged and pleaded to continue on I-70 through Kansas. He refused. I normally won arguments with my grandfather and could not figure out why I was losing this one. With one final attempt I cried, "Why won't you go through Kansas?" I still remember his short but succinct reply, "Because I am as stubborn as you. When I don't want to do something, I don't."
There was no arguing after that remark. I did not argue for a couple of reasons. One, he was right. If I did not want to do something, I did not do it. And second, I realized that for my whole childhood, he had let me win every argument. He did not understand every choice I made, but he did understand my stubbornness. This was the first time I understood his. I thought since he let me win all the other times, I can give him this one. We did not go through Kansas. I did not see Kansas until after he died.
The first time I went, I finally understood what he missed. We went to the old farm where he was born. I saw the one-room school house where my Nana taught. I saw the old courthouse where my Nana and Gramps were married. I saw the old creek that he would play in as a child. I saw huge old black walnut trees that gave more shade than I thought was possible in Kansas. I understood why it broke my grandfather's heart to leave Kansas. It was beautiful. I did not picture Kansas like that at all. I felt sad that I never got to visit these places with my grandfather. Yet, he was there all the same.
This past weekend when I returned after a 15 year absence, I felt the same presence of my ancestors there. When I was laughing to the point of tears with my Kansas family, I felt the same familiar feeling I had when I was a child. I felt loved, I felt family connections to the town and I saw shadows of the people that I had loved that are no longer with us.
It was through the family and the drive that I was reminded of John Denver's song, Uncle Matthew.
"Joy was just a thing he was raised on.
Love was just a way to live and die.
Gold was just a windy Kansas wheat field,
and blue just a Kansas summer sky."

In one weekend I experienced the joy and love that the song talks about. I also saw the gold and the blue of Kansas. I forget sometimes that I do not have to go half way around the world to have the trip of a lifetime.

Do you have someone in your family that is your 'Uncle Matthew?' Maybe the way to get to know them better and to understand the 'joy that they were raised with' is to see the world through their eyes.

1 in 60,000

2010-04-23T08:10:00.001-07:00

Depending on which website you use for reference, the average person has between 60,000-70,000 thoughts per day. That means you have a new thought every 1.2 seconds. That includes the time you are sleeping!
Have you ever had that one thought that led to an avalanche of other related thoughts?
Now imagine that you have had a negative thought and then the avalanche to follow is all negative. Does it work in reverse? I think so.
A very long time ago I had a friend named Steve. He and I used to hang out on my front porch on summer eve's and talk about everything. One the night before I was to go to London, I let him in on a secret fear of mine. I told him that I was afraid to fly, especially to fly over oceans.
The first time I did a long flight over an ocean was when I went to Hawaii. I was terrified. I kept envisioning the plane crashing into the water and sharks would come in for the kill. OK, I know that is not logical. I know that if a plane fell out of the sky into the ocean......sharks should be my last worry. But, hey, I was only 15 at the time. That fear continues into my 20's, until my conversation with Steve.
When I let Steve know about my fear, I told him that I was afraid that every time I got into an airplane I was afraid it would be my last. He asked me why I continued to fly. I told him that I had such a love of travel that I was willing to be terrified for a few hours so I could experience a few weeks in a new place.
Steve thought for a moment and then he said the one thing that changed everything for me.
He said, "Cathy, if you are meant to die in an airplane then that is how you will die. If you are not on a plane when it crashes, then you will be on the ground when it lands on you. How you're supposed to go is how you are supposed to go."
OK, I know it sounds strange that I took huge comfort in those words, but I did.
I did not know it then but Steve used a well known NLP technique of 're-framing' a thought or idea. He took my fear of flying and re-framed it onto my belief of 'how things are supposed to be.' He knew that I had faith that when my time is done, it is done. I was afraid that a plane would take me out before I was supposed to go. He actually put it in the frame of 'live your life and things will always work out how they should.'
Steve took that one negative thought and re-framed it so their was an avalanche of positive thoughts. Since then I have never been afraid to fly, travel, step outside of my comfort zone, because I know that God has already been there and I am fine. Yes, bad things happen, BUT I also know that "Everything is OK in the end. If it is not OK, it is not the end."
That statement has always been my other re-frame. I have never gone through anything where I wasn't OK in the end. In the middle of the deep, dark hole...I thought it could never be OK, but it always is.
Re-framing has always helped me to put things in perspective, and if I am going to have an avalanche of 60,000 more thoughts......I want them to be positive thoughts.

It matters little how much equipment we use; it matters much that we be masters of all we do use. - Sam Abell

2010-04-13T09:05:00.001-07:00

When I travel I do not buy souvenirs for myself. I buy them for friends and family. My souvenirs are the photographs, my memories in print. When I look at a picture that I took, I can feel what I felt the moment I captured the subject. I can feel the wind, see the light and remember things that I had forgotten. I am not a professional photographer, I just enjoy it immensely. I enjoy loading my pictures on to my computer, editing them with different software and uploading them to Flickr.
Before the days of digital photography, I had a very expensive SLR camera. I loved it. It took the best photos. I came in to the digital era kicking and screaming. I waited a LONG time before I bought a digital camera.
When I used an SLR, I had a backpack that held my camera, lenses, tripod and all of the equipment I may need to capture the moment. When I decided to switch to digital, I priced the DSLR's and immediately ruled them out due to the price factor. That actually ended up being a blessing. I now own an affordable Nikon Coolpix P90. What I love the most is the 24x optical zoom. That is the equivalent of a 600+ mm zoom. I do not have to change lenses.
The draw backs are that I can not add filters. My favorites were the polarizing filter and the UVB filter. I have not missed them too much because the photo 'darkroom' software is so good that I can edit my photos for the desired effect.
The camera does everything my old SLR did, manual controls, shutter priority, aperture priority, bracketing...everything I need. It is compact enough to fit into my travel purse but large enough to get the job done. It is not a lightweight model that you can fit in to your pocket, but I do not want that. I want to have high quality frame-able prints. The boat pic above was taken with my old Kodak z1015IS. I thought it took awesome photos but I wanted a higher zoom.
In my most recent trip to the Mideast, I used up an entire 8G sandisk memory card. Of course, I shoot at full 12 megapixels so I can blow up the photos for framing. If you do not want to blow up your photos, you can shoot at a lower MP and get more out of your memory.
Now, with all that said.....I have seen incredible prints from point and shoot cameras. Keep in mind, it is not the equipment, it is how you use it. If you are just starting out, I recommend getting your composition down. Really learn how to frame the subject. What angles are best?
Then get yourself some good software or photo service. Photoshop is great but it can be a bit intimidating for beginners. I like Picnik.com. I think I paid around $25.00 for one year. It works great with Flickr or Facebook and many other sites.
If you are serious about capturing the moments of your life......Get a free Flickr account and join some of the travel groups. It is a great way to share and learn a new hobby.
My house is filled with my photos. I have given them as gifts and made them in to cards. I have made photo books and shared my photos with my daughters geography class.
A picture is worth a thousand words?? Well, OK....for some. For me it is worth a whole lot more.

“To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley

2010-04-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

You have heard the complaints from your friends and family right? The French are rude, Venice smells, Muslim countries are dangerous and they hate Westerners. Did any of the rumors that you have heard stop your desire to go to a foreign country?
I have never run across a rude local in all of my journeys. I have never been to a country that I did not find beautiful in it's own way. I found the French to be lovely, Venice beautiful and Muslim countries to be charming.
Before I went to France, I had heard for years about how rude the French are. I had also heard that if you attempt to speak the language, they got friendlier. Isn't that the same all over the world? I know that here, in America, there is a huge prejudice to immigrants that do not speak English. I have also heard other English speaking countries have the same complaint. It is human nature to be suspicious of anything or anyone different. That is understandable.
What I do not understand is believing what other people say without checking it our for yourself. I really do not understand it when the media is involved.
One of my favorite geography shows is Globe Trekker. I would show this to my middle school students when I was teaching. I remember in particular, the episodes through Jordan and the Wadi Rum. Ian Wright led the way through local weddings, feasts and festivals.
I think when I saw that episode is when I first got my desire to see Jordan. Globe Trekker is definitely more 'liberal,' if you consider 'liberal' as meaning....getting to know the locals.
At times, I have ventured out of my comfort zone and been WAY nervous about a country that I was visiting. I have even not enjoyed 'the moment' because of the discomfort. Every time I get home from the journey and had a chance to reflect, I had fond memories of the event. I also had regret that I did not enjoy the moment more.
The regrets are getting fewer, the moments more enjoyable. I will never regret that I have never taken someone's word about a country as the 'truth.' I have always wanted to see for myself. I have never been disappointed.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. -Mark Twain

2010-04-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

Last month I went to Egypt and Jordan. I got to see places that I have read about my entire life. The Valley of the Kings, The Pyramids, The Wadi Rum, Petra, The Red Sea, Mt. Sinai and much more. I went snorkeling in the Red Sea and saw the most incredible coral and sea life. It was truly a great trip with great sights to see.
The highlight, however, was not what I expected it to be. Living in America, I have heard a lot about the Mideast and Islam. I hate to say it but I do not ever remember hearing anything good about either one. Especially from the media. I guess I took it on faith that what was said was the truth.....and I am sure it was the truth that somebody else saw through their eyes. It is not the truth that I observed with my eyes.
We were escorted through Egypt by one of the most gracious people I have ever met. He is Egyptian, Muslim and lovely. He had the most wonderful sense of humor and was extremely knowledgeable about every place we went. I enjoyed his company immensely. He shared stories about his family and I shared stories about mine. He shared stories of his faith too. I think what impressed me the most was that when he talked about God, or Allah, he spoke of Him with such reverence. He spoke of Him with such beauty and grace, that you knew he truly loved and believed in Him. He spoke of his God, the way I wish I spoke of mine. In fact, I was able to get a whole new appreciation and understanding of God. Right there in the middle of the oldest mosque on the African continent, I felt a renewal of my faith...Christianity. I saw the common bond that he and I had. I saw the common bond that I have with all of humanity. I have heard it said that Christians and Muslims do not believe in the same God. That is just a way to keep the divide growing wider. Love God, love others. Isn't that what Jesus said? He did not put a qualification on others. He did not say, "Love others EXCEPT for those that do not believe in me, oh yeah, and do not love homosexuals, Democrats, Republicans, people who do not salute the flag or people that criticize the government." Yet, I have seen too many Americans, that claim to be Christian, act like that is what He said. I found a Jesus without borders while I was in the Mideast. I looked at people that probably looked a lot like Him. I found the God of all, the God of the Mideast, America and the rest of the world. I see Him in the eyes of a Muslim, a Jew and an atheist. It does not matter, we are all His.
Since my return, I have looked for quotes for this blog. I chose the one from Mark Twain as the title of this post. I almost chose one from Malcolm X that also summed up how I feel: "The truth is the truth no matter who speaks it. Wrong is wrong no matter who does it."
I paraphrased a bit, but the gist is there.
Remember the story of the good Samaritan in the Bible? In case you are not familiar with it. Jesus praised a Samaritan for doing the 'will of the Father" even though he was a non-believer, according to the Jews. (The true root of their dislike is unknown but the Jews thought they were not pure in their religion. Sound familiar?)
We live in a country that is made up of human beings. With human beings comes human error.
The media is made up of human beings. Again comes human error. Have we gotten it wrong? I think in many cases we have. When we judge a whole region by the actions of a few, that is wrong. Don't get me wrong, I have NO desire to go to Saudi Arabia where they behead tourists
for practicing 'witchcraft.' I do not want to wander around Iraq or Afghanistan without an armed escort. But I do not want to make the mistake that the whole region is like that.
King Abdullah II from the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan said it best when he said, "When you hear about a riot in Cincinnati, you do not avoid going to Boston." Same with the Mideast. You do not avoid that part of the world because of the fanatics involved with 9/11. (my words)
I know that in my wanderings, my wonderings have changed quite a bit. I now wonder what would happen to the prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness of all people if they would just travel outside of their comfort zone. I believe Mark Twain got it right, it would be fatal to those beliefs. It was to mine.

"When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money." -- Susan Heller

2009-10-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

When I was 25, I made my first solo overseas trip. It wasn't too adventurous...I was going back to England. I had not been in 7 years and I was so excited to go. If I had been truly adventurous I would have gone to a new country where I did not speak the language. But ever since my first trip there, I had burning desire to go back.
I had decided to travel light because I wanted to get around easy. I took one carry on for the 2 weeks I planned on being there. This was pre 9/11 so there were no long lines, except customs.
The first time I had gone to England we were all stuck in Heathrow for hours. Our luggage did not make it on the same flight as us. It was coming on a later flight...much later. We had to wait in customs until our luggage got there. That was my reason for wanting to do the carry on...I wasn't going to waste 3 hours sight seeing time in the airport.
When I arrived at Heathrow, I got my carry on and walked right past all of the people waiting for their luggage. I went up to the security check point and attempted to walk on past. He stopped me, very politely, with a "Love, you can not leave this area until you have all of your luggage."
I told him that I had all of my luggage.
"That is all you have?"
"Yes," I replied.
"You have absolutely nothing else for you coming off of that plane?"
"No, this really is all I have."
I could see the cogs working in his brain as he was thinking. I could tell that he did not quite believe me and he finally said, "Are you sure you are from America?"
Remember the line in the original Raiders of the Lost Ark, "You Americans are always overdressing for the wrong occasions."
One of the things that I have learned on my travels is that Americans have the reputation of packing too much. I have always broken that stereotype. When we went to Ukraine in February of '05, I took 3 outfits. They were all mix and match so it looked like I had more. I also took Woolite and some bungee cords for a makeshift clothesline and washed clothes in the sink every night.
The last trip I took was in March of '09. I traveled through Spain, Portugal and Morocco. It was a 2 week trip. Once again, I had my one carry on with my 3 outfits. I ran in to a young lady from Miami. She had brought a new outfit for every day she was to be gone. She had one large suitcase and a medium sized suitcase and the old fashioned makeup bag. She used everything she brought. I have found her to be in the minority though.
Most people I have talked to have said that they took too much but would rather have too much that not enough.
Not enough? What exactly does that mean? Not enough clothing to cover the body entirely? That would be embarrassing. Not the right formal clothing in case you get invited to the palace for dinner? Also embarrassing. Although I have never met anyone where that situation has actually happened. What does it mean?
One of the things I really like about traveling is to be surrounded by the unfamiliar. If I take everything I own with me, well that is too much of the familiar. I like forgetting about myself, what I own or don't own and seeing a whole new world. I love how I feel. There is no 'me', there is only my eyes and my camera. Everything else does not matter. When I get dressed in the morning, I make sure I do not have any breakfast between my teeth, my hair is combed, my body is covered appropriately for the country I am visiting and then I do not pay attention to myself for the rest of the day. The rest of the day is about the experience of the country.
It is not only a vacation from the daily schedule of home, it is a vacation from me. My daily thoughts, worries, mundane activities are gone if only for a few days. I do not want to worry about what I wore yesterday and what I will wear today. My only concern is the cleanliness of my clothes and that I do not offend. I find that as relaxing as being away from the daily grind.
I wander through the airports of the world and watch travelers grab a cart and haul of their 2-3 suitcases per person and wait in the line at customs. By the time they are through the line I have already checked in to the hotel and started my vacation.
Yes, I have a lot of pictures of me in the same outfits. I look at it this way....I have a lot of pictures of me from all over the world.
One of my favorite travel site is "Don't forget your Toothbrush." You can join for free. Make a list of what you want to take and set up the pre-travel e-mails that will remind of you of what to do. Everything you need is on the list from watering the plants to well, packing your toothbrush.

"There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer" - Ansel Adams

2009-09-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

When I travel, I travel lightly. I pack 1 carry on for clothes, my travel purse that carries my passport, credit cards and my most important piece of equipment...my camera. I am not a souvenir hunter. My souvenirs are my pictures.
I have had several versions of digital point and shoot cameras. Most of them have been Kodak, but I have now switched to Nikon. You can see a more in-depth gallery of my photos at my flickr site. (My flickr photostream.) All of the photos on my photostream are from my various Kodak cameras.
I have used my photos as postcards, greeting cards and framed prints. I use a fairly high megapixel because I blow my prints up as high as 20" x 30".
I am in the experiment phase of my recent purchase of the Nikon Coolpix P90. There are new buttons, bells and whistles to figure out. I upgraded to a 12 MP and a massive 24x Zoom.
You do not need large MP or a large Zoom for regular prints. I want as close to a DSLR as I can get, except I do not want to change lenses. I used to carry my old SLR in a camera back pack with several different lenses, filters etc. Although I think the film SLR took better pictures, the digitals have gotten so good that the difference to me is negligible. I would rather sacrifice a little quality for convenience. If I was shooting pictures for National Geographic, I would rethink the decision. (Of course if they called, I would definitely rethink it!)
I love looking through photography books of the country I plan to visit. I get inspiration and try to think of ways to capture the same over-photographed site in a new angle.
You do not need to spend a lot of money on books. Go to your local library and check them out. If you live in a larger city, go to your local bookstore and grab a few and sit down right there on the floor. My Barnes and Noble has big cushy chairs! Of course I always end up buying my favorites! Big stores like Barnes and Noble and Borders have a bargain section where you can get high quality coffee table books for half price.
If all you want is to snap 'memories'...well then you can probably ignore any photo tips or books. If you want high quality photos that you are proud to frame, pass on or on your own Flickr photostream....then take some time to develop your own style.
There is a reason people recognize the big photographers such as Ansel Adams, Annie Liebovitz, my old fave- Edward S. Curtis, because they are the unseen second person in the photo. You can not mistake their eye when you see it. Many have tried to imitate their style, but you can not imitate the truly great photographers. They have their own style, and so should you.

Ansel Adams: 400 Photographs

Edward S. Curtis: Visions of the First Americans

"When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable."

2009-09-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Quote by Clifton Fadiman
I wish I had read this quote before we traveled to Ukraine. I think then my ignorance or arrogance might have been more prepared for what we were to face. My husband and I went to Ukraine in 2005 to adopt 2 little girls. (The adoption story is a whole 'nother Oprah...you can read about it in my EzineArticle...just click the link on the right column.) The purpose of this post is to talk about my first experience in a developing country. Since 2005, I have been to other developing countries...but I was more prepared.
Ukraine is a former Soviet country that declared their independence in 1991. They are still struggling with their economy and government since '91. Kiev is an interesting mix of old architecture and Soviet style square, grey buildings.
I have heard that in the spring and fall, this mostly farmland country is beautiful. We went in February, it is also beautiful in winter but not so convenient for travel.
I have traveled extensively but not like this. When I have been to other foreign countries, I still recognized things like toilets even though they were called W.C.'s or toilettes. I had heard about holes in the ground for toilets but had never seen one until Ukraine. For someone who likes to go slightly over the speed limit in the US....I was praying for a speed limit in Ukraine. I really thought we might die in a car accident. There may have been rules for the road, but we did not notice anyone observing them. Early one morning around 4 a.m., we were traveling from Kiev to Kharkiv. Our driver was pulled over for speeding. There, in the middle of nowhere, was a police officer standing on the side of the road. He flagged our driver down, told him he was speeding and assessed an 'on the spot' fine. Our driver paid it and off we went.
I never eat at McDonald's stateside but almost kissed the tiled ground when I saw one in Kharkiv. (Not to mention I loved seeing a 'real' bathroom! )
The 1960 Lada taxi that drove us from agency to agency had no seat belts...no heater (this was February, remember).
I learned not to drink any liquids after breakfast to avoid any restrooms during the day. When we were visiting a hospital in Lubotin (20 miles outside of Kharkiv), I thought this would be a safe place to use the restroom.....oh how wrong I was....it was actually one of the worst. Rusty pipes dripping on your head. An inch of brown water on the floor with a plywood 'plank' to walk on from the door to the toilet. This was not a hole in the ground toilet but it did not have a seat on it. The wooden door did not shut all the way so my husband stood guard at the door. He did not need to.....I walked in and turned around immediately. OK, it may seem that I am obsessed with toilets....I'm not really...you just don't realize how comfortable you are in your own home until you see something so foreign.
Every person we met in Ukraine was absolutely wonderful. They were warm, giving and opened their hearts and homes to us. I always felt safe cared for. When we asked our translator, Oksana, about life in Ukraine she was open and honest with us. She said that Ukraine was in a transition period from Soviet times to a more democratic society. They had applied for acceptance in the EU. There was a huge gap between the rich and the poor...we saw the evidence daily. From the charm of a horse drawn cart delivering milk to the rural homes, to the Hummer driving businessmen in Kiev. The hospitals in the rural areas could not afford vitamins or medicine for their child patients. The hospital in Kiev reminded me of a small hospital stateside. (We saw lots of hospitals because we were constantly having to do paperwork on the girls' health.)
The people on the eastern side of Ukraine tended to side with Russia on foreign issues and a few we talked to even said they would like to see Ukraine be a 'Soviet' country again.
That shocked me. Growing up in America, you always hear of the 'evils' of communism. Why did they want to return to that?
They answered, "At least there was health care and we always had a paycheck."
The Western region of Ukraine around Kiev was more independently minded. These were the young folks of the Orange Revolution that fateful November in 2004. (The disputed election between a Russian friendly President and a Western Europe friendly Presidential hopeful. The Orange Revolution successfully, without any violence, was able to bring the 'Western Friendly' candidate to office. Read the full story here.)
As I watched daily life unfold in this country trying to find its identity, I noticed that the people carried on as best they could with situations I found intolerable. It showed me how 'wimpy' I had become. How I am so used to turning the thermostat up or down to make myself comfortable.
Yet the people here, though looking older than their years, carried on without so many of our modern conveniences. (The average life span for Ukraine citizens is 64 for females and 60 for males.) They seemed 'comfortable' in their surroundings, or as my Grandfather used to say. "If you don't know that there is anything better, than this is all you know there is." The Ukrainian government is trying to make life better for their citizens that have lived through Stalin and the forced famine that killed over 8 million Ukrainians. They are also trying to make life comfortable for the younger generations that do know there is something better out there thanks to the internet and mass media.
In the US, we started with the ideals of our Founding Fathers. We may argue how best to put those ideals into practice, but that is the starting place. In Ukraine, and other developing countries, they have histories that span centuries and sometimes millenniums. There are many factions and ideologies trying to find their 'comfort' level and many ideas clash violently making more discomfort.
I have seen the US clash over policies and programs, most recently health care reform....but we know what our government will look like tomorrow. We may not like the person in office, but we know that can change at the next election. Most western countries have a fairly stable government. Developing countries can see drastic changes overnight. When they awake to the new morning and the new government, they awake to a whole new set of ideals that will make some more comfortable......and some less comfortable. It is best to keep this in mind when traveling to a country struggling with its identity. Where you may find comfort one week, may be completely different the next. We know what we have waiting for us when we return home....they do not always know what they have waiting for them when they wake up the next morning.

"Don't tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you have traveled." — Mohammed

2009-09-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

The very first time I left the U.S., I was 5 or 6. I do not remember exactly how old I was. We were on a family camping trip. We made a brief crossing into Canada. My Mom and Dad were both teachers and they gave my brother and me the best education we could ever have, travel. Every summer we would be gone for weeks at a time. By the time I was in my teens, I had seen 47/50 US states. (Now I only have 2 to go...Rhode Island and Alaska!)
One summer when I was also 5 or 6, my family went to a rodeo on one of the Navajo Reservations in the 4 corners area. It was the first time I spent any significant time on a reservation. I remember looking at the long black hair and traditional dress of some of the women. I thought they were beautiful. Their hair was so perfect. I was a towheaded, blue-eyed little girl that stood out like a sore thumb. I was so fascinated by these people that while my parents were watching the rodeo, I snuck off to go sit on the "Indian" side of the bleachers. (This was the 60's after all.) After a few minutes, my mother noticed that I was missing and started scouring the 'white' side of the stands looking for me. She glanced over at the other side of the stadium and could not miss me. There in a sea of dark faces and black hair was the whitest child you ever saw. I was happy, comfortable and safe. I can still remember the older women looking at me, touching my hair and smiling. I do not remember words being exchanged. I do not think they were speaking English...but to this day I remember the looks in their eyes. I remember how bright and kind their eyes were. They spoke volumes. They made me feel completely at ease. I remember clearly that feeling, and it has remained with me to this day. Whenever I travel, I am always looking for eyes just like those....eyes that are kind, non-judgemental, welcoming....and the thing is, I always seem to find them. They may come in different shapes and colors, but they are the same, welcoming
I have an M.A. in Special Education. It used to be my goal to get my Ph.d. I no longer have that goal. I want to see every country and meet as many people as I can. I am not mult-lingual. I can get by(barely) in Spanish and French. I am fluent only in English....except when I see 'those eyes.' The language barrier seems to melt away.
I have seen eyes that convey a different message. I have seen eyes that did not trust the 'American' in me. I have seen eyes that did not like the color of my hair, eyes, skin or my gender. I only glance at those eyes and know that they are not the ones I came to meet. They are not the eyes of my old Navajo ladies that taught me to love meeting new people. It's sad for them really, the mean eyes. I know my world is a better place to live. My piece of the world on their piece of land......I wander on and wonder...who will I meet next, where will I go next?

"No matter where you go, there you are." – unknown

2009-09-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

We met during our first years as new teachers. It seemed that we had a lot in common. We had seen a lot of the same scenery. When we started to compare stories though, I discovered that we had traveled the same roads but with way different eyes.
Katie and I were about the same age. She was from the east coast, I had grown up on the west coast. She left her hometown of Syracuse, New York and took a solo road trip to Portland Oregon.
I took a solo road trip from Astoria, Oregon to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We had traveled the same highways at almost the same time.
Not long after we met, we began to exchange stories.
"When you were driving across South Dakota, did you stop at Wall Drug?" I asked.
"Why?" she asked back. "Why do I want to stop at a drug store?"
"Weren't you at all curious about all of the bumper stickers and huge billboards advertising it?" There was a bit of surprise in my voice. (Even if you have never been to South Dakota, you must have seen at least one of those bumper stickers.)
I discovered that there was no curiosity in Katie. She drove from Syracuse to Portland just to see how fast she could do it. She said, with great pride, that the trip had only taken her 4 long driving days. (I am not sure if that is fast or not, she thought it was.)
I, on the other hand, loved stopping and seeing the sites that I had only seen in movies. Devil's Tower...looks even bigger in person than it did on "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." The Badlands were prettier in person than in the movie "Thunderheart."
When I drove through Chicago, it was a rainy cold day in November. I was disappointed that I could not see the top of the Sears Tower,( In July 2009, Sears Tower was officially renamed Willis Tower.) because it was covered with clouds. So, I stopped for an early lunch at a little diner that had a view of the building. After 3 hours, the rain and clouds lightened up enough for me to see the top. It was well worth the wait.
Katie had gone through Chicago too. She was there for three hours too..... stuck in traffic. She retold with great disgust how she was stranded on the freeway moving at a snails pace because she made the error of driving through at rush hour.
"Well you must have had a great view of the Sears Tower, huh?" I asked.
"I guess, I don't remember."
At that point I realized that we had very little in common. She remembered the traffic, I remembered the view of the Tower. She remembered getting from coast to coast in 4 days. (That would have driven me nuts!)
I remembered stopping and seeing sites that I had heard about but never seen. She remembered how much she spent on gas. I don't ever remember filling up my car...ever. I know I did but that is not what I remember.
How could two people travel the same part of the country and have such different memories? We decided that we should never travel together. Our goals for travel were way too different.
I always thought that the saying- "No matter where you go, there you are," was a comment about running away from problems....you know the ol' geographical cure that 12 step programs advise against. I have a little bit different view on it today. I have dear friends that I know I should never travel with because, well neither one of us changes when you cross that international date line. A happy person is happy in Paris, France and Paris, Texas. (OK, I have been to both and I have to say...I was happier in Paris, France...but I was still happy in Paris, Texas.)
A picky eater in Denver, CO (Me!) will frustrate the traveling gourmet eater. (Give me a baguette and some cheese and I am good to go.) I know this would be a point of contention with some of my friends.(I do have a good friend who is content to sit and eat at an outdoor cafe while I sightsee. We meet up later.)
A person that loves to have new experiences can get that in their own country...or own city for that matter. Traveling, to me, is a state of mind as much as well as picking up and going somewhere new. The journey is more important to some, and the destination is more important to others.....it does not matter.....what matters is, finding the travel partner that enjoys the same things you do....or knows how to compromise like my friend at the cafe. Going alone if that suits you...'cuz no matter where you go, there you are...so you better like you and the people you are traveling with! If not, stay at home....you can be miserable for a whole lot cheaper.

'But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?" -- Noel Coward

2009-09-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

The 'Not-So' Quiet American....
I once met a man that said, "I have no desire to travel. I read National Geographic and I learn all I need to know."
Yikes! I really hope he does not travel with that state of mind. I think he would be the kind of traveler that would not be a good ambassador for America.
Unfortunately, I have seen way too many travelers that needed to stay at home.
When I was 18 I spent a semester of college in the UK. There were 25 of us that went from the same college. That semester was the best education I had in my 18 years.
Unfortunately there were many other young Americans that were not so happy. I am not sure why they did not like England. Most of us were in love with the country. We found the people lovely and the country absolutely gorgeous. But there were about 5 that hated it. They did not like the food, the accommodations, the people...they just wanted to go home. If I could have afforded their ticket home,I would have helped with their early departure.
In one specific ugly incident, several of us had gone to the Tower of London. Close to the Tower is a group of shops and restaurants. We had gone to a little restaurant that advertised "All-American" Hamburgers. I was curious as to what it would be, but the vocal unhappy young man in our group wanted...well McDonald's I guess? When the hamburger he received was not "American" enough...he let everyone know it. He was downright rude. He told the waitress to take it back and make a proper hamburger. He ranted on about how they advertised falsely about it being a true American hamburger. He continued on for a good 5 minutes. I was only 18 and and wished I had been a little more gutsy. I wish I had defended the waitress more. As it turns out, she was really good at defending herself. She let him have it right back. What I thought was admirable is that she did not attack his nationality. She just told him how rude he was and invited him to eat elsewhere.
He still demanded the burger they promised and he demanded at that point that he be treated like an "American." She refused to serve him...the manager came out and asked him to leave.
The rest of us were invited to stay. After the place calmed down, we apologized for his behavior. We assured the waitress and the manager that we were more the average Americans than he was.
At the end of our summer stay, this young man vowed that he was never leaving America again. I hope he stayed true to that vow.
It was a wonderful lesson for me. Since this was my first time overseas, I learned what to do for all of my future travels. Instead of ducking my head and apologizing for my 'nationality.' I learned how to show the world how wonderful Americans truly are. It is my mission when I travel to erase any memory of any 'ugly' Americans that have come before me.

2009-08-21T07:43:00.000-07:00